Hopes, Expectations and Identity

I had a revelation in November of last year about the expectations that I had for my children. I had been chatting with a friend about my struggles that day. I was having a really rough day. The kids were fighting non-stop and it sent me over the edge. When the kids fought it was more than just an annoyance. It seriously triggered something in me, something that caused me to rage.

There was a lot of fighting in my home as a child. I had always wanted a family of my own so that I could have all that I felt like I had missed out on as a child. I desperately wanted to be loved and I just knew that if I could get married and have children of my own, that I could finally be happy. That I would finally find the love that I had been longing for.

I had placed my hopes in my family.

I had placed my hopes in the wrong place.

You see, when we place our hope in anything other than Jesus Christ, we are bound to be disappointed.

Here are some of the thoughts that were going through my head that day:

*There is so much to do and I don’t feel like I ever have enough time.

*I am not enough.

*I can’t do this.

*I am a failure.

*I seriously don’t think I have what it takes to parent these children.

*It doesn’t matter what I do or how hard I try. It ¬†doesn’t matter what I say. It always ends the same. It’s never enough.

But then God spoke to me through my own words.

“All I ever wanted was to have my own family so I didn’t have to deal with this.” That was my plan. My plan was not working because I was expecting my family, my children to give me the love that I was craving, a love that could only be found in Jesus. How unfair of me to put such responsibility on their shoulders.

When we place our hopes, our expectations, and our identity in anything other than Jesus Christ then we are bound to be disappointed.

Psalm 42:5-6 says “Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.”

Jesus is the only place for us to put our hopes because He is our Savior.

Not only are we going to be disappointed when we , but we are worshipping false gods. We are indulging in idolatry and we are placing our confidence in something or someone who will never be able to satisfy us the way that God can.

I have found that the idols in our lives are almost always good things. Many times they are gifts from God. The problem arises when we adore the gifts that He has given us more than we adore the One who gave the gifts.

So let’s take our eyes off the people and things that we have elevated above our relationship with the Jesus and focus on Him! When we do I think we will be amazed at the results.

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One Response

  1. Vicki Dunaway
    | Reply

    Yes. I did the same thing when my children were growing up, I wanted and expected them to be perfect.I knew JESUS but didn’t have a relationship with him .Now I do and that is his job . My job is to love them unconditionally .I apologize for the way things were when tbey were growing up.. I love you Tracy and Josh

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